lovrde:

me, making a phone call: god i hope they don’t answer

(Source: tankaramo, via z0mbie-pirate)

racingbarakarts:

racingbarakarts:

My fiancé just whispered in my ear, “you’re my secret Santa”

so I said “what?”

And he went, “ah shit I meant soulmate”

The boy forgot the word for soulmate and his brain thought, “it’s called secret Santa”

(Source: racingbarakarts, via youmakemusicmeansomething)

boppinrockin:

obscene-alien:

voremother:

puncromancer:

mood ring contact lenses

this reads like a shit post but honestly this slaps

yall out here reliving being in the 6th grade with these mary sue ass ideas

and? 

(via youmakemusicmeansomething)

horchatamexicana:

“you have nice hands” means finger me like that’s it

(via youmakemusicmeansomething)

adzolotl:

you call it “really bad at darts”, I call it freestyle acupuncture

(via kickassfunny)

jaclcfrost:

u think i am walking around the house with a blanket around my shoulders because i cold but in actuality it is my cloak and i am on an adventure

(Source: greelin, via lust-issuesxo)

imoutsidelookingin:

Malmo and Moss

(via lust-issuesxo)